On living up to my own expectations….

I’ve been doing a lot of introspection lately. Part of it stems from an article I read while having trash magazine/Emmy’s/dinner time with a friend over the weekend. I read a lot of interesting, thought-provoking articles, but most of them come from the likes of The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. It isn’t very often that I read regular, ol’ girly mags. But I found an article about having a five-year plan in place and I was hooked. You know why.
I’ve spent the better portion of my life comparing myself to other people and trying to keep up with my friends, in a myriad of ways. Jobs, life, athletics, stuff…you name it, I’ve tried to keep up. It’s exhausting! I don’t know if you’ve ever tried it, but I certainly don’t recommend it. It’s how I’ve gotten into a lot of shenanigans in my life. The problem with trying to keep up with other people’s expectations is that they’re OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS. Everyone has their own path, their own things they want or need to do.
I have a few friends who are ladder-climbers. They want the absolute most out of a job they can possibly get. They work hard (and they play hard) and they know exactly how to get what they want out of a job, out of a career. I used to think I wanted that. But I’m coming to realize it’s not really in my nature to do that. Climbing the corporate ladder can be pretty cut-throat. It should be, honestly. It shouldn’t be all THAT easy to get ahead. You should have to work for it. I just don’t have it in me to do that. I don’t have that kind of energy. I don’t know if I ever did. But I tried for a long time to convince myself I did.
So instead of trying to do what I think other people want or expect me to do, I’m going to try to do things that make me happy. Anytime I think about what makes me happy, the first thing that comes to my head is traveling. If there’s nothing more you can know about me, know that I love to travel.
My current list includes the following: Bahamas, Lake Louise, Greece, London, Italy, Southern France, and Monaco.
I also really really love baking and cooking. In talking with a gal-pal the other night, she phrased it best: “You [and another person X in her life] like baking just so other people can enjoy it.” Well, ain’t that the truth. I told her she better plan on being chubby this fall/winter because I fully intend to do bake a metric ton of cookies, pies, cakes, etc. It’s going to be madness. And I expect that everyone in my life will indulge in said baked goods. I’m also going to perfect a butternut squash soup this fall, if it kills me (and it might).
I’m going to try to make a better habit out of doing things that make me happy. Reading, walking my dogs, yoga (which involves breathing peace in, breathing worry out), cooking/baking, watching stand-up comedy, working on wedding stuff. Maybe I’ll even learn how to make some jewelry.
How have I not thought about any of this before now?!

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