On the fear of money….

I’m easily scared. There’s no denying it. I jump when people sneak up behind me. I start shaking in line for a roller coaster when I know I’m on the next train (despite how much I love riding the things). I can never really predict when the bad guy is going to pop onto the screen during a scary movie. Things that go bump in the night make me lose sleep. The idea of jumping into the ocean gives me anxiety attacks.
I feel like all of those things are pretty normal. But the one thing that scares me more than just about anything else? Buyers remorse. It doesn’t matter if it’s a $50 jacket or a $15,000 car…I’ll go back and forth and back and forth for WEEKS trying to make sure I made the right choice. I recently bought a new computer and while many people told me it was a good idea and it would change my life, I had to really question whether or not I needed a) a new computer or b) to spend the money. I mean, my current laptop is shiny and fancy (and pink, to boot) and I’m sure it would have lasted a really long time. But it doesn’t work nearly as quickly as I do and sometimes it just pisses me off.
Jackets are a different animal entirely. I love jackets. I have far more than any reasonable person should. I have suit jackets and casual jackets; spring jackets and fall jackets; winter coats; statement jackets and comfy coats; even jackets that I use only for costuming (demin jackets. Blech!). So why is it, when I see a new jacket I MUST HAVE IT IMMEDIATELY?! It makes no sense. And every time I buy a new one (like my awesome black Calvin Klein), I get it home and instantly question why I bought it.
For sobbing out loud, I have buyer’s remorse (it’s anxiety, really) over things as simple as this amazing sugar scrub from Bath & Body Works…I’m stopping myself right now, but I really want it! I had anxiety over buying pretzel chips for my Nutella the other day. Seriously. It was like $3.
So yes, I have fears over things like heights and depths and the dark and, you know, being murdered. But the thing I fear the most is spending money. Sigh.  

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