On feeling engaged….

I think we all have a path; some sort of destiny that we’re to fulfill. Some find their path much sooner than others. Some, like me, take their sweet time trying to figure out exactly what they’re supposed to do and when to do it. But with that, I think there are several paths that we’re all destined to take. Life is too long and too interesting to only take one journey, right? There are a few paths that I want to get going on (career and mother) and others that I’ve successfully completed (student) and still others that will be on-going, that my future paths will meet up with (daughter, sister, friend, wife).

Recently, I’ve been kind of focused on the “career” side of things. For a long time, I’ve felt like I’ve been living just A life and not MY life, in that regard. I wonder what it feels like to know that what you’re doing is what you’re meant to do. I watched the finale of the Oprah Show while I was in Boston and, damn. That woman is inspirational! She’s just a really good speaker. She spent much of the show talking about how what she’d been doing for the last 25 years was exactly what she knew she was always meant to do. I don’t know if that’s luck or skill or ingenuity or what, but it’s something. Whatever it is, we all have it in us to do what we’re meant to do.

Knowing you’re full of life comes with that territory. When we finally figure out exactly what we’re supposed to be doing, our life suddenly becomes engaged, as if we’re finally in-gear and can make things happen. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt fully engaged yet, but I have had moments that made me feel like I had just made a good decision. Like the time I quit a horrible job with no job on the horizon and only a couple grand in savings. It felt amazing to know I’d just done something really good for myself. Little moments like that crop up all the time, but I’m very curious to know what it feels like when that giant moment of recognition and engagement happens…?

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