On choosing to see the good in life….

As women and men, when we’re in relationship with our chosen lovers, there come times when we focus on nothing but the bad. We all have faults, that’s fact; and it’s just so easy to focus on what’s wrong with our mates. It’s been said that it’s much easier on the body to smile than to frown…uses far fewer muscles to smile. So why is it that it’s so much easier to bitch about our companions than to praise them?

It seems the overarching complaints about men are the following: lazy, messy, generally inconsiderate. For women: selfish, vain, generally inconsiderate. You see, there is some overlap. I’m not entirely sure what it’s like for men, but I know that when women get together, we tend to gravitate toward man-bashing from time to time. Suffice it to say, we can find anything to complain about and men just seem to be easy fodder. We like to laugh about what he did or did not do, we like to complain that he didn’t read our minds, this sort of thing.

Well, today, I say, “Enough!” I assure you, men are not the useless, bumbling fools women like to make them out to be.  So the rest of the post may be a little out of character for my typical ones, but hey, it’s my blog so I can post what I want.

I could rattle off a list of things about my husband that drive me absolutely bananas (not the least of which is the nightly confounded snoring that I have to suffer through), but it really won’t accomplish anything because a) you won’t care and b) if it were really that big of a deal, I’d find a way to fix it other than by complaining.

Not only do I find my husband wicked handsome, he’s funny as all get out (to the point of reducing me to a series of snorts more often than not) and smart as hell, to boot! He’s a brilliant writer (even if he does hate when I edit while I read his books) as is best evidenced by our wedding vows, which he wrote. He’s a deeply emotional man for whom tears do not come easily, but are shed when absolutely necessary (I’m sure he’ll be a teary disaster when we finally have our fist child, whenever that may be). He can cook like a mad fool! Some of the best food I’ve ever eaten has not been at fancy restaurants in town, but in the comfort of my own home, something that he created (just for me, usually). Just thinking about his spicy red pepper fettuccine makes my mouth water…nom nom nom! He’s hardworking and never does anything half-way. For him, if it’s not his best, it’s just not good enough. On top of all of this, he’s always at the ready if I need him to run an errand or do a chore. He never complains when I ask him to clean the floors or do the laundry on his days off (though they are aplenty, these days). He knows my favorite candies and flowers and gives them to me frequently…and every time, it’s a surpise! He’s incredibly thoughtful and knows that if I say I want an immersion blender, I really mean I want an immersion blender and will go absolutely batshit when given one for one of the BIG FOUR (Valentines, Birthday, Anniversary, or Christmas). He can take my favorite “things” and bend them into really unique and clever ideas…like the piano wire bracelets he got me once. He also knows that I love to get red roses on Valentines Day, “black” roses (like the ones I carried on our wedding day) for our anniversary, and whatever he wants to get me for my birthday. He likes to spoil me by buying me fancy, expensive body wash that I’d never buy for myself (because “If it makes you feel good, you should get to have it!” he says).

We may not have a lot of money and we may not have the biggest house or fanciest cars, but we have a ton of fun and we laugh on a very regular basis (I’d wager to say, more than just a few times a day)! We have a life and a home together, something that no one can ever take away from us. We have years of hilarious memories and love-filled moments. We never struggle to find something new to talk about or experience together. We learn from each other daily.

Yeah, there are plenty of things about him that make me crazy…but what’s the point in focusing on that when there’s all this good crap to dwell on instead?

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3 thoughts on “On choosing to see the good in life….

  1. You got a good one, alright….

    Side note… not only is it 'easier' to smile (I've always wondered about that myself…) but there's strong evidence that your brain actually takes a large number of its emotional cues from your your facial expression.

    Kind of a chicken and egg thing, I know. I think a lot of facial expressions are as much reflex as conscious action most of the time, and they can often actually affect your conscious/subconscious mood.

    So what I've been training people to do for years to deal with a bad mood may be partially correct… smile… it'll cheer you up.

    Ok… only slightly related. Moving on. Good post!

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