On feeling underwhelmed…

Maybe this is a common feeling for people, but finishing school – completely finishing – is about the most underwhelming thing I have ever experienced. I just don’t know what to do with myself right now.

I no longer have papers to write or research to do. I don’t need to log on to my online classes and get discussions posted. I’ll never have another spring or Christmas break which means I’ll never need to cram as much as I can into a week or two, for fear of missing out on something while I’m doing homework. I won’t ever utter those three little words so many people have heard from me the last few years: “I have homework.”

I woke up last night from a medicated stupor, sure that there was something I needed to be concerned about (other than my puppy who ate a couple chicken bones yesterday). And there was nothing. Really. Just…nothing. So I went back to sleep and that was that.

I’m likening this feeling to the 4th of July. It’s sort of the same thing. Everything starts out a little slowly, then ramps up until CRASH! BOOM! The giant finale we’ve all been waiting for! The pinnacle of the show…they break out the big guns and give us the best they’ve got! And it’s all very exciting for a few minutes and then….it just ends. There’s no winding down. It’s just over.

So now I’m struggling with the idea of what to do with myself. I need to clean and rearrange much of the house. I have a ton of recipes that I’m dying to try out (though with Christmas only 2 weeks away and me hosting dinner, I don’t know that many new recipes will get tested in the near future). I want to start consulting brides again. I definitely want to start writing in earnest. There are plenty of things that I want and need to get done, but for now? I think I’ll just revel in the fact that, while it took me waaaaay too long to complete, I’ve just finished my degree. I’m just going to be okay with that and get the massage I’ve been (quite literally) aching for, for so long.

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4 thoughts on “On feeling underwhelmed…

  1. That might be my biggest fear…complacency. I hate getting complacent in ANY area of my life, but education? Oof. I definitely want to keep learning and keep growing.

    The math part of the GRE scares the hell out of me and I think Todd would put a stop to me going back to school right away haha!

    But I definitely understand your point, for sure. I still have some philosophy books I'd like to read…any suggestions?

  2. I know that feeling well. Some advice from my own prescriptions:

    Read intellectual stuff, like serious intellectual stuff. And not crappy biased unscholarly documentaries but just about anything you can find on Jstor. The Auraria Library is public, after all.

    Study for the GRE or just keep taking classes if you're not planning on grad school. Though it's easy for me to say since they're free.

    Learn a second language. Though again easy for me to say, I may have slightly more incentive than you. šŸ™‚

    And if all else fails, take some kind of large step toward seriously pursuing whatever you want your career to be. If not, you will get comfortable much faster than you think.

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