I have been asking myself (and the larger Twitter/Facebook community, somewhat rhetorically) how to deal with hate. I’ve never experienced it before though I’ve probably said the word a lot. I mean, I hate mushrooms.
But hating mushrooms isn’t emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually toxic.
Pure, unadulterated hatred, however, is.
But when you’ve been so betrayed that it knocks the wind out of you and causes you to just stand there, staring, it’s hard to know what else to feel. It’s hard to know what to trust.
I keep thinking horrible (and somewhat insane) thoughts. I go over and over in my head things I’d like to say.
But none of this really accomplishes anything. Anger, after all, is a secondary emotion. One that needs to be addressed and dealt with, but secondary nonetheless.
I feel anger because I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been lied to. I’ve been hurt in unforgivable ways.
And because I’ve never been truly betrayed before, I’m not sure what to feel or how to react. So hate is where I’m stuck right now.