On behaving badly….

Ever have those moments when you just feel like behaving poorly because, for some indescribable reason, you think it’ll make you feel better?

I do this from time to time.

When I’m stuck in traffic (especially in one, very specific area of my city), being angry at the world makes me feel better. I call people names and swear, all from the confines of my vehicle. There is nothing about being in that area that makes me feel “right” so being angry feels not only good, but natural.

Snarky is another behavior that I sometimes like to exhibit. I find myself getting snarky and crappy most often in online discussions and forums. More often than not, topics are related to either politics or religion (and when the two topics combine, WATCH OUT!). World issues is another topic that brings out the snark in me. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know everything there is to know about anything (except the television show, Friends), but I’ve got a good handle on facts, what I believe, and why I believe those things, so it’s fun for me to get involved in those types of rather-heated discussions. Snarky also comes out when I’ve been hurt or somehow wronged. I mostly just want to get shitty. It’s in those moments that I have to be really careful and aware of my propensity for this behavior because, frankly, it’s pointless.

Being melancholy (read: emo) is another one that I’ve been known to display. This is, by far, the most inexplicable of all my poor behaviors. I really have no reason to be “woe-is-me” and yet, from time to time, it just feels good. However, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: at some point (at several points, really) in everyone’s lives, two situations occur: 1) your life, your situation, your problems are undeniably the most important and the world is allowed to revolve around you for the moment; and 2) someone else’s issues are more important for the moment. I could probably prattle on for pages about this behavior of mine, but I won’t.

But it all does beg the question: why, if I know these are crummy behaviors, do I continue to exhibit them from time to time?

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