The Rundown

Friday Night. Sex & The City opening. Madness ensues.

5:15pm — leave work. it was a painfully long day. not only was it friday and the weekend upon us, but it was the ultimate girls night out. i really should have taken the whole day off just to watch the last season of SATC. but alas. i worked. by the time i arrive home, i have just enough time to re-do all my make-up and hair and throw on my fun and very “charlotte” party dress topped off with black satin strappy stilettos (with a bow on the back) and my pink satin trench coat. how fabulous i feel!

6:35pm — leave the house to go pick up Karla for the night’s festivities. she lives a mere 5 miles from me and yet it takes me nigh on a half hour to get to her house. stupid punishment lights!!!

7:00pm — Karla and i arrive at Park Central. we’re practically giddy at this point. okay okay…we’ve been giddy since two days before, but whatever. we’re both in fabulous shoes (Karla’s were black satin closed toed delights with crystal embellishments on the toes…woo!). we make our way the 5 city blocks to the movie theatre, all the while having multitudes of people tell us how fantastic we look (excellent!)..we spend the majority of the walk marveling at how many other hordes of women are heading the same direction we are…we of course know where they’re going and why they’re dressed so well :o)

7:15pm — arrive at the theatre to gawk at all the other get-ups. one in particular is fascinating and wonderful. she was in her early 20s (most likely) and wearing a black top with big big pearls but her skirt was the best part…knee-length cream tutu with sparkles and a hot pink and black polka dotted belt at the natural waistline! she completed the outfit with cream satin slippers. hot! laura and bryn get to the theatre and wait in line with us for a few minutes before deciding to go grab a quick dinner and some ice cream. karla and i are holding out for popcorn and soda during the movie. it should be noted that karla and i were about the 15th people in line so we were primed for the best seats in the theatre…go us!

7:30pm — Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Drunk stumble / run up to where karla and i are standing, having a fun conversation about whatever. Dee has a handful of bread she’s taken from the italian restaurant downstairs from the theatre and proceeds to tell us that she and her friend are going to stand in line with us. at this point, we can literally smell the booze ON THEIR SKIN. it was quite gross. Dee and Drunk ask if we’d like shots. No thanks, we’re good. we’d like to see this movie sober. after all, we’ve been waiting for four years for this. i’d quite like to remember it, thank you. the icing on the cake is when Dee decides to light up a cigarette IN LINE…rude! most people would kindly step out of line to a less populated area then come back. oh no. not her. and she was dangerously close to sparking my satin jacket. okay, now not only is this my favorite jacket i’ve ever owned, but i bought it specifically for my wedding. so had it gone up in flames, i would have promptly removed my 4″ stiletto shoe and stabbed her in the eye. i’m not one to throw down, especially not at THIS movie, but really. don’t mess with me when i’m wearing my favorite clothes. seriously. fortunately none of this came to fruition and both drinky-pants’ managed to make conversation with people further on down the line, thus securing that the would likely not be sitting in front of, beside or behind us (i was most frightened about the “behind” scenario as projectile vomit would have pissed me off in a similar was that igniting my jacket would have).

8:15pm — we’re escorted into the theatre to find our seats. i don’t think any of the four of us have ever run so quickly in heels. we get prime seats, right in the middle of the theatre. most excellent! Laura and Karla leave Bryn and me to protect our seats while they go to get snacks. pretty painless process. they return and Bryn and I go to get what would be the largest popcorn and sodas we’ve ever had. in fact, i think the soda i got held as much soda as i’ve ever ingested in the span of the last 28 years. it was a LOT. on our way back up the escalator to our seats, we pass Dee and Drunk and their seven other friends…on the floor in handcuffs outside the theatre. Dee was the only one in cuffs and she was hysterical and belligerent (shocking) while another friend was shaking her and yelling at her to “Calm the f**k down! Pull it together!” which was rather hilarious as i was party to the beginnings of this about an hour ago out in line. we get back to our seats and Karla and Laura inform us that someone had apparently called security on them and as all nine girls got hauled out of the theatre, 500 SATC fans erupted in applause….that’s right! i would have paid good money to see that! the whole incident made my $11 movie ticket TOTALLY worth it.

10:45pm — the movie ends and we all applaud and cheer (Todd is gagging and rolling his eyes as he reads this, guaranteed). time to head to Purple Martini for some after-Sex cosmos! the four of us meet up with Erin, Allison and Natalie and have a grand ol’ time for the next few hours. between 10:45pm and 1:25am the following things occur:

  • Karla has her first EVER martini
  • a nice, but too persistent gentleman is pawned off on Bryn and me. he proceeds to hit on us not once, but twice. didn’t quite get the hint when i flashed my diamond. weird.
  • a K-Fed lookalike asks why all of us are sitting in the back corner of the club, talking. Laura curtly responds, “Because it’s obnoxious out there. We’re not obnoxious.” and Karla “lustily” rubs Erin’s arm and says “Because we’re in to EACH OTHER”…that shuts him up (which is weird, because the last time i tried that, it just made the guy MORE persistent).
  • a girl appears wearing shorts that are quite tiny. this leads into a very funny conversation. that’s all.

1:45am — Bryn and Laura head to their car to go home while Karla and I walk Erin the remainder of the way to her car. we stop outside the Cheesecake Factory for some more delightful conversation all while amusing ourselves with the incredibly drunk girls that continually stumble past us. oh and on the way out of the club, a very drunk 21-year-old tells me he loves me jacket so much, he could slap me. whatever. it was weird. he had on a sparkly shirt. i’m pretty sure i could take him.

2:00am — one very large, very drunk man walks up to us and starts the most bizarre conversation i think i’ve ever had, including arguing with Karla over platinum buildings (i have no idea what this means, but i think it means it’s the most environmentally sound building/materials you can possibly find). he argues that his brother-in-law built the ONLY platinum building in all of NYC, which even *I* can imagine is a total falsehood. his friend, who has since wandered up and is substantially less wasted, argues in Karla’s favor (oh btw, Karla works for an engineering and design firm in denver and has whatever designation is needed to be a pro at this whole platinum building thing). the drunk guy then asks where he can find young, attractive and green women (green meaning “environmentally aware” in this situation). we tell him to head to Boulder. throughout the next 22 minutes, this guy insults the three of us, our city, our clothes, the movie we’ve just watched, and our husbands. please refer to earlier paragraphs about stabbing people in the eye with my shoes. his friend kindly (mercifully) removes him from our presence and the three of us make our way home.

i cannot believe i was out till nearly 3:00am…and all for a MOVIE!
oh and in case you were wondering, i will not tell you the end or anything regarding Carrie and Big. but everyone dies.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

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