I should have guessed this is how it would go……

It’ll never happen, but man, would I ever love to give up this intense hold I have on planning every portion of my life out to a “T”.

Nothing ever really works the way it’s supposed to. Or rather, the way I intend for it to go. Maybe it’s me trying to play God in so many areas of my life. I don’t know. It’s just that I’ve always been able to plan ahead. And for the last year or so, it’s been basically fruitless to try to do so.

I knew when I was going to graduate, how much money it was going to take, when we could have kids….basically, I just knew the how, when and where of every single portion of my life. And now that’s just not going to be the case. At least for a while.

Rather, we’re kind of back to square one. Things have to go on hold. Not forever. Just for a bit. I’m trying to think of the most functional and reasonable answer to so many things, but mostly all I really want to do is cry.

Not because I’m sad, but because I’m totally clueless anymore.

So here we go, one more time.

Prayers please?

One thought on “I should have guessed this is how it would go……

  1. i think for me it’s just about trying to understand and accept that i am NOT in control….and as much as i don’t like that – i have to face it. but at the same time i have to take comfort in knowing the God IS in control and He is A LOT smarter than me…..and so i have come to be somewhat ok with it….but it still stinks sometimes…..:o(

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