I’m reading this really great book right now, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I just got to a portion of the story where she tells how she has learned (from a monk or something) that you should make a list of the three things you want or want to do most in life. And if any of those things are in conflict, something has to change.
My friend from a former life, Sheila (she’s still a friend, don’t worry…it’s just that that portion of my life, when I was playing with a really cool band and Sheila was part of it, is over), is graduating from school soon….this semester, I think. I’m absurdly jealous that she’s going to be doing that soon. I want to be there. Graduated. Doing things I care about. Or, even if I’m not doing something I care about, I at least have the option of moving in that direction.
I know it sounds like I’m whining and complaining a lot about what I am or am not doing. I guess, as far as my “career” is concerned, I’m increasingly dissatisfied with what I’m doing and what I put up with. My job is fine, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I’m not passionate about it.
So I really need to put my mind to some very creative budgeting. And then we just need to do this. Get me graduated, that is.
It’s going to take a TON of hard work. I have no idea how it’s going to happen. I can’t even find the right websites to show me exactly how much money I’m going to need to take out in loans to make this work. But really, if there’s one thing that’s *actually* worth going into debt over, it’s school. And a house, but that’s a ways off at this point.
I really just can’t fathom living much longer waking up every day, feeling this unsatisfied with what I’m doing. It would be so nice to get to come home before 8pm every evening and actually be able to follow through on my promise to Todd that I would have delicious dinners ready for him when he gets home (yes, I’m June Cleaver…did you really expect something different?).
And dammit if I don’t want some ice cream….STAT!