On information overload….

November 17, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

I’m one of those people that has a really hard time shutting down, going off the grid, disconnecting…specifically from technology. More often than not, you can find me texting or talking on my iPhone, watching movies on my iPad, and emailing/Facebooking on my MacBook. So, not only am I a slave to consumer electronics, it would appear that I am fully Apple Assimilated.

It’s just that I love having information at my fingertips. I love that I can look up any recipe for anything in a matter of seconds; or find out what’s going on in other parts of the world with a single click; or hear music I might never have heard had it not been for the ol’ interwebs. This sort of harkens to my previous post regarding reading: I really enjoying learning and, for me, that involves quite a bit of reading.

So do I think there’s too much information out there?

Certainly.

But maybe not in the ways you might think.

Sure, I get exhausted by all the bad news in the world. I can only handle so much Kardashian nonsense. And, frankly, I’m not sure I could care less about the NBA lockouts or the Occupy Whatevers.

The information that really gets to be too much for me? Facebook crap. Specifically, the updates regarding my friends’ childrens’ bowel movements and/or digestive pyrotechnics.

Honestly. When did it become normal to broadcast how ill you or your children are? And I’m not talking the posts like, “My kid is in the hospital with pneumonia; please pray.” Those I get. What I really don’t care about, what really IS too much information, is advising the status of children’s potty training adventures or diaper expolosions or the like.

THAT is where I think the Age of Information has become a monster we are unable to tame.

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On people I don’t understand….

November 15, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

If there’s one type of person I absolutely cannot relate to, it’s a Republican.

Oh, calm down…I’m KIDDING. Most of my family is Republican. In fact, it’s safe to wager that I’m the most liberal person in my family, most days.

No, really though. The person I’ll never be able to relate to is the person that says, “I just don’t read.”

WHAT?!

I really can’t understand a statement like that. Maybe it’s because I’m the polar opposite…I can’t get enough things to read. I read an entire book (albeit a lovely children’s book) in about 20 minutes the other night and am itching to read the follow up (it was called LOVE THAT DOG, if you’re interested…what a brilliant book). I’m currently carrying two paperbacks in my bag along with 36 digital books on the ol’ iPad, not to mention the countless New Yorker’s and Vanity Fair’s loaded on the thing. Oh and The New York Times. How could I forget that one? There’s no shortage of things I’ll be willing to read. Right now, I’m in the middle of a philosophy book (Consolations of Philosophy), The Life of Pi, Abraham Lincoln – Vampire Hunter, Bossypants, and a David Sedaris collection.

So yes, I love books to an almost disturbing degree. I understand there are people that don’t like to read nearly as much as I do, but to just not read? I can’t get behind that. Is there really nothing they want to learn about? Nothing that seems like good, old-fashioned escapism?

There’s something really relaxing in reading. I love just lying on my bed, snuggled under the covers, with a great book, knowing that the end result is probably going to be the best nap of my life! Or sitting on the couch, all cozied up under a warm blanket with a cup of tea, with only a table lamp on, reading a book I’ve read a hundred times. Or finding a funny or interesting article in a magazine and reading it to someone else, putting my own spin on the author’s voice and narrations.

There’s so much happiness to be found in reading a good book, whether it’s chic-lit or non-fiction, comedy, fantasy, or a classic, even a children’s story. There’s a sense of completion…of accomplishment when I finish a good book. It’s another notch in my literary lipstick case, I suppose.

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On trigger points….

November 14, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

It’s no secret that I’m a huge ball of stress most of the time. I’ve lived a significant portion of my life under quite a lot of stress, so the feeling is somewhat normal to me. Which kind of suck, when I really think about it. Who wants to live life in a constant state of stress…and subsequently, fear?

I’ve started to try eliminating stress where I can. I use yoga and general breathing techniques a lot and, thanks to the gorgeous gym at my office, I can run and do yoga/pilates every day for an hour if I want to. I’ve done that a lot lately.

Maybe the better idea, however, is to be proactive about my stress, rather than reactive. I find myself getting stressed and rather than try to identify what’s making me crazy, I just try to make the symptom go away. It’s like how I react to getting a cold. I treat the cold, but not the cause (which, frankly, is usually a lack of sleep). If I got more (and better) sleep, I probably wouldn’t get sick in the first place.

So what causes all this stress in my life? I have no idea. A lot of it is probably because I’m very Type A. When my inbox at work has more than about 15 items in it, I start freaking out. This morning, it had nearly 30 and I about came unglued. Fortunately, I can hide the crazy from my co-workers pretty well, but having that much crap to handle really starts to get to me. It’s like there’s never enough time in one day to get done what needs to get done.

The fact of that matter is, stress is always going to exist in my life, no matter what I do. I try to eliminate it where I can, but it crops up around the next bend. That’s just the way my life goes.

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On alternate career choices….

November 14, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

My very first college major choice was secondary education. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why. Well, that’s not entirely true. I wanted to teach English. The problem is that when I made that choice, I had just come off a summer internship wherein I discovered that I kind of can’t handle kids, of any age. That opinion has changed markedly in the 10+ years since my internship, but I still can’t figure out why I thought teaching would be a good idea.

I’m sure it has everything to do with my passion for the English language. I just want people to understand it, to speak and write it well, to generally sound intelligent when speaking their native language. Is that too much to ask?!

Probably not. In fact, since graduating last year, I have often flirted with the idea of going back to school to get my Master’s in, you guess it, English. More specifically, English Writing & Rhetoric. Even more specifically, I’d get my teaching license in conjunction with my Master’s. Maybe I’d never use a teaching license, but I think it’s something that might be good to have in my back pocket. Who knows? If I’m really honest about it, I’d only ever get my teaching license in the hopes of moving somewhere far away and exotic to teach English…like Kyoto or Paris or anywhere really.

Not so long ago, when I was looking for a new job, I even thought about teaching at my (now-defunct) high school. I would have loved to teach middle school English…that age just sounds fun to me. Young enough to be maleable, yet old enough to have some semblance of an opinion. I now understand why my sister loves working with that age group so much. I could definitely get behind teaching junior highers.

So while I’m not sure I’ll ever go the teacher route, I’m reasonably certain that I could love teaching English.

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On the fear of money….

November 7, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

I’m easily scared. There’s no denying it. I jump when people sneak up behind me. I start shaking in line for a roller coaster when I know I’m on the next train (despite how much I love riding the things). I can never really predict when the bad guy is going to pop onto the screen during a scary movie. Things that go bump in the night make me lose sleep. The idea of jumping into the ocean gives me anxiety attacks.

I feel like all of those things are pretty normal. But the one thing that scares me more than just about anything else? Buyers remorse. It doesn’t matter if it’s a $50 jacket or a $15,000 car…I’ll go back and forth and back and forth for WEEKS trying to make sure I made the right choice. I recently bought a new computer and while many people told me it was a good idea and it would change my life, I had to really question whether or not I needed a) a new computer or b) to spend the money. I mean, my current laptop is shiny and fancy (and pink, to boot) and I’m sure it would have lasted a really long time. But it doesn’t work nearly as quickly as I do and sometimes it just pisses me off.

Jackets are a different animal entirely. I love jackets. I have far more than any reasonable person should. I have suit jackets and casual jackets; spring jackets and fall jackets; winter coats; statement jackets and comfy coats; even jackets that I use only for costuming (demin jackets. Blech!). So why is it, when I see a new jacket I MUST HAVE IT IMMEDIATELY?! It makes no sense. And every time I buy a new one (like my awesome black Calvin Klein), I get it home and instantly question why I bought it.

For sobbing out loud, I have buyer’s remorse (it’s anxiety, really) over things as simple as this amazing sugar scrub from Bath & Body Works…I’m stopping myself right now, but I really want it! I had anxiety over buying pretzel chips for my Nutella the other day. Seriously. It was like $3.

So yes, I have fears over things like heights and depths and the dark and, you know, being murdered. But the thing I fear the most is spending money. Sigh.

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On becoming a monster….

November 1, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

It’s no secret that I like cookies. In fact, I probably love them. My default cookie is a classic Oreo. None of this Double Stuff or backwards or even mint Oreo nonsense. Just plain old Oreos. I love them. I could eat an entire sleeve and probably wouldn’t feel all that bad about it (I have a similar physical reaction toward pizza).

But there’s just nothing quite like a homemade cookie, is there? I spent about four years of my life trying to recreate a grocery store sugar cookie. You know…the super soft ones with way too much frosting? They’re so delicious, it hurts. And I needed to be able to make them. So several years and many discarded batches of dough later, I was able to figure it out (and it’s my little secret).

My favorite cookie to make is chocolate chip…I’m still working through some issues with that one. I can’t seem to get the consistency right, though the flavor – admittedly – is amazing. That’s due, in large part, to replacing one ingredient with a slightly different one (another of my little secrets).

Gingerbread, shortbread, and oatmeal-raisin are among several others that I love making.

But if I had to choose a favorite cookie, it wouldn’t be a cookie at all. You see, my life essentially revolves around Christmas baking and this comes from my dad’s love of holiday baking. He’s a master in the kitchen when it comes to just about any kind of cooking or baking. He taught me how to make my first sugar cookie, so I have a special place in my heart for that one. But he makes the most incredible fruitcake you’ll ever have the joy of tasting.

Put aside all your bullsh*t notions of fruitcakes you can build homes with or using them as gag gifts. My dad’s fruitcake (which is a recipe that’s been passed down for at least three generations) is the baked good that I most look forward to. It only happens once a year (though once I did request it for my birthday cake…and got it…in May) so the anticipation really starts building right about….now.

If only it could be Christmas season tomorrow….or always….!

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On worthless memories….

October 28, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

Do you ever wonder why you keep some of the things you keep? I’ve been wondering that a lot lately. I have a ton of stuff stored in my parents’ basement right now and they keep hounding me to get it out so my dad can install a dance floor, but mostly it’s because I’ve had boxes of crap in their basement for more than 10 years and it’s time to get rid of some (okay, most) of it.

Some of the things I found just made me wonder: why on God’s green earth would I keep that crap? Notes from boys that made me feel bad about myself; cards from my 15th birthday; corsages from homecomings and proms; candles and incense (of which I found an extraordinary amount). We’re talking seriously meaningless crap. Of course, I did find some fun things as well. Photos from my senior year that I’d all but forgotten about; my graduation cap that I had airbrushed before grad; a mix tape (okay, just the case. I wonder where the tape went?); all kinds of miscellaneous awards from high school; adorable notes from my gal pals in Canada and Minnesota; journals and notebooks; my list of Simple Pleasures.

But the question remains: why would I keep things that don’t matter and/or that make me feel bad about myself? I read some of those notes and every feeling of insecurity and worthlessness just came screaming back. It was like being a teenager all over again (a fate I would wish on no person). On top of that, why would I ever keep old textbooks (especially those regarding any sort of math)? But maybe instead of questioning my past decisions, I should trash the trash and instead begin asking myself the following question:

Am I going to care about or want this is 5, 10, 15 years?

If the answer is “No,” then it makes it pretty easy (or it should, anyway) to forget about it. However, there will be those things that I keep that WILL mean a lot to me, but will also cause me great pain when I find it 10 years in the future. Are those things worth keeping around? I keep all my journals and from time to time, I’ll go back and read through them. There’s some painful stuff in there, especially the ones from my late-teens and early-20s. Reading what I wrote ten years ago, I sometimes feel very guilty about things I did. I feel silly for mistakes I made. I feel shallow and disappointing. I feel reckless. I feel not worth it.

But it’s in those feelings of worthlessness and despair that I remember how far I’ve come. Maybe that’s why I keep some of those things. To remind myself that I’m not that person anymore, that I’ve changed…for the better, in many ways.

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On the taste of feet in my mouth….

October 26, 2011 / micahdl / 2 Comments

No matter how nice a person we think we are, it’s practically an inevitability that we’ll act like a total jack-wagon from time to time. I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a real jerk sometimes. Most often, this comes out when people misspell words or eff up basic grammar. Yes, I’m an English language elitist. So are a lot of my friends and I can pretty much guarantee they’d readily admit it. As someone who’s devoted her life to understanding and appreciating the English language, it drives me absolutely bonkers when people mess it up so horribly. It makes me twitch. And I can turn into a real jerk about it.

Unfortunately, grammar isn’t the only thing that’ll cause me to say something stupid and/or insenstive…or just plain wrong. There was this time I was in Vegas and while pre-gaming in the hotel room, I said something so wildly inappropriate, it actually caused insta-sobriety. There’s nothing quite like having a room full of people turn and look at you and say, “Why would you say that?!” That’s a horrible feeling. And it should be. What I said was both out of character and out of line.

I think we’ve all had those moments when something we’ve said caused another person to be offended or hurt. It’s rare (I hope) that we say mean things intentionally, but humanity causes us to act like jerks sometimes. I know I’ve done it. About a year ago, I said something that really hurt and very much upset one of my dear friends. The nice thing, though, is that she’s a good friend so all it really took to remedy the situation was a simple, “I’m sorry…that was NOT how I meant for that to come out.” A simple apology and/or explanation is all that was needed to repair what I’d damaged.

Maybe that’s the hardest thing about it, though. When I discover — immediately or after the fact — that I’ve hurt someone with my words, it hurts my pride knowing that I probably need to apologize. It’s so easy and so simple to say “I’m sorry”, so why does that phrase seems to catch in our throats? Why do we feel the need to justify and explain away and generally not take responsibility for the hurtful things we say? It has to come down to pride. It must. And maybe having our pride stung from time to time isn’t the worst thing in the world. I suppose there’s a lot we could learn from damaged pride….

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On getting my next fix….

October 21, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

I’m one of those people that tends to have a really addictive personality. It’s gotten me in trouble more times than I can count and it’s led to me doing things that I’m not necessarily proud of. Fortunately, I was finally able to curb the crazy several years ago and have focused my addictive personality on one very specific thing.

Adrenaline.

My name is Micah and I am an adrenaline junkie.

I’m not even afraid to admit it. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t really fathom going to Elitch’s anymore because I’ve done the thrill rides so many times I’m actually bored with them. I mean, I’ll still ride them, but the thrill is lost on me anymore.

There’s one coaster there that I’ll ride over and over again, but it’s really more for sentimentality than anything else. It was the first roller coaster I ever got on. The Sidewinder. It’s nothing spectacular…just one loop forward and the same thing backwards. But that’s just how it goes with addiction…you start with something small and easy, get a taste for what it’s like, and if you like it, you go back for more and more and more. I’m always on the lookout for my next big fix.

I’ve done all the local roller coasters more times than I can count. I’ve done every Disney coaster and thrill ride they currently have. Universal Studios Orlando and Hollywood? Done ’em. In fact, I spent a vacation with a girl friend several years ago riding every functioning roller coaster in the state of Florida. We done good that year. We even managed to ride several of them at least three times. It was out of control. We were on an adrenaline high for something like four solid days. Coming down from that was, well, the crash was rough, to say the least.

It’s been quite some time since I rode my last roller coaster. I’m jonesin’ bad. I’ve spent a lot of time recently looking at coasters around the country that I need to ride. But there’s one adrenaline fix that I’ve been itching to get for YEARS. I think I’ve been trying to get this fix for something like 15 years. Maybe more.

I really want to ride in a fighter jet. Like, baaaad. I see all these movies and shows where pilots are doing barrel rolls and flying upside down, hard left and right banks, and c’mon…when they scream straight up into the sky at about a billion mph? How does that not sound like the greatest thrill ever?!

Well, it turns out you either have to actually be a military pilot or you have to be in the military and win a bunch of big eff-off awards in order to get in one of those jets. And even then, those cats make bets with each other regarding puking and passing out. Plus, you apparently have to go through pretty intense training just to take a back-seat ride. Le sigh.

Is 31-years-old too late to join the military, kick some ass, and take some names, all for an adrenaline fix?

I’m seriously considering it.

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On the joys of losing….

October 18, 2011 / micahdl / Leave a comment

I like to play games.

Scratch that. I LOVE to play games. Growing up, my siblings and I could spend hours playing either Trouble or Monopoly. We were those kids that would save the Monopoly board under the couch and keep coming back to the same game for at least a week. We were champion Tag players, too…two acres of backyard made for some crazy games of Tag, there’s no doubt about that. It also wore us out in a hurry, something I’m sure my parents appreciated.

My family has always loved playing games together. For the last several years, the game of choice has been Phase 10, which has recently become more of a joke than anything. My parents take that game with them everywhere. I’m not exaggerating. Boston? Check. Jordan? Yup. The Vancouver Olympics? Absolutely.

I’ve never really cared whether I win or lose at games. I’d way rather just be having fun with my friends and family. It’s just not in my nature to be uber-competitive. Games, for me, are always about having fun and nothing more (unless it’s air hockey…then I get a little crazy). Fortunately, most of the games I love to play involve just that…having fun. Fun with WORDS!

My favorite games, without question, are Catchphrase and Taboo. I could honestly spend hours playing either of them. But really, I’m not even sure it’s the fact that both are word games that makes me love them so much. I think it’s really that every time I play either of them, I end up laughing to the point of snorting and/or not breathing. See, I have crazy-smart friends and family. And as smart as they are, they’re even funnier. I mean, what other group would be able to get someone to say EMBARGO by using the hints “It’s a bigger word for ‘hug'” and “It’s a long, flat boat.” Seriously. That happened (though I wasn’t there for it and just heard the story later, but still…that’s pretty standard fare).

Games are just that to me…games. Sure it’s fun to win. Everyone likes to win at games from time to time. But honestly, if I never won another game again, I probably just wouldn’t care…so long as I could still keep playing games.

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Use. The. Clutch.

living fully. fully living.

On information overload….

On people I don’t understand….

On trigger points….

On alternate career choices….

On the fear of money….

On becoming a monster….

On worthless memories….

On the taste of feet in my mouth….

On getting my next fix….

On the joys of losing….

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