I recently started my semi-annual rewatch of the MCU movies in timeline order. It’s been a while since I’ve done a timeline rewatch. I forgot how much I really do love these movies. I was reminded the other when when it came up in conversation with a girl friend at book club.

It’s always fun when I find another person who’s even remotely as obsessed with the series as I am. It’s one of very few things that I can talk ad nauseum about. I’m sure I’ve driven people crazy with how much I know it, like it, dig into it, whatever. Frankly, I’m very aware of how annoying I can be about things I become obsessed with.

Unfortunately (for me and for everyone else), that’s not likely to change.

I just get excited when a topic I enjoy comes up and I assume everyone else feels the same way as I do. Sadly, that is very rarely the case.

I’m learning to temper myself a little bit. It’s a challenge. More often than not, my mouth speaks way sooner than my brain thinks and I end up saying stupid shit. I can’t count the times I’ve accidentally put my foot in my mouth. And then I spend the next 3-5 business years replaying the incident, wondering how much of an ass I’ve made of myself and if the person I was talking to hates me.

It’s a really fun feature of my brand of ADHD. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, I think it’s called. It mostly just means that I’m hyper aware of people’s reactions to me and almost always assume the worst. I used to think it was easy for me to make friends and be around people. But the older I get, the less that seems to be true.

I wish it was as easy as it was when we were kids. To just walk up to someone, tell them their shoes are cool, and decide we’re friends. Or to bang on someone’s front door to see if they can play. Kids don’t do small talk bullshit. They just get straight to the point. Are you cool? Do we like similar things? Awesome. We are friends now.

Adults make it so much more difficult. There are just so many more things to take into account…religion, politics, marital status (it’s a hell of a lot easier to get together with a friend where there isn’t a spouse and/or kids at home), interests, and an almost unending list of other “things”.

Making friends is tricky for me, now that I’m in my 40s. Between the ADHD and the aforementioned considerations, it takes a lot more effort to find “my people”.

So it comes as no surprise to me that when someone has an interest that aligns with mine, I want to ask them to be my new best friend.