Can we talk about etiquette for just a second?
At what point did “maybe” become an appropriate response to an invitation? When did it become okay to just not respond to an invitation until well after the requested RSVP date and at the near-harassment of the host?
I sometimes feel like social media has made us far lazier and more rude than was ever intended. Why, Evite, is “maybe” a response that can’t be eliminated when creating an invite?
I hate the “maybe” response. Why? Because it makes me think you’re waiting to see if something better comes along. It makes you look incredibly inconsiderate. It makes it damn never impossible to plan for food and drinks, which makes it really hard to budget. Would you respond “maybe” to a wedding invitation? If you would, I’m really going to need you to evaluate how you run your social life.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had no less than three friends tell me they’re having the worst time nailing down RSVPs for parties they’re throwing. Look, folks. It’s not that hard. FFS we’re all attached to our smart phones. It’s not like you don’t have access to a calendar literally all the time. Check your dates and respond appropriately to an invitation. There is no “maybe”. You’re either going or you’re not.
And please don’t regale me with tales of how you might have to work or you’re trying to get out of working or you don’t know if you can find a babysitter. I get it. There are legitimate reasons for saying “maybe” to an invitation. But don’t. Just don’t. Figure your schedule out and respond. It’s one thing if a sitter falls through last minute or you suddenly become violently ill and have to cancel. Of course life happens. That’s not the point. The point is, you are either planning on attending or you are not.
It makes it really hard for the host to not feel like an asshole when they try to follow up with you Maybes. And why should the host feel like that? YOU should feel like a jerk for not responding appropriately in the first place.
It’s the time of year when people are planning and hosting parties basically every night of every weekend for the next four to six weeks. Do your hosts a favor and respond. Seriously. Stop what you’re doing right now and respond either “yes” or “no”, “going” or “not going” and put it on your calendar. Give them a chance to throw a kick ass party without having to hunt down half their invitees and feel like a jerk for doing it.