On reliving the past…

calvin.jpg

If you could redo one moment in your life, what would it be and why? How would it change who you are now?”

I don’t particularly like looking back on life and wondering how mine could be different if I’d have made choice B over choice A. There are certain things I wish I’d have done differently…stayed on the cheer sqaud through my senior year, purchased the wedding gown I first fell in love with (both times), not cut all my hair off…things like that. They’re all fairly insignificant things, in the grand scheme of things.

But when I think about the big mistakes I’ve made? Nah. I made them. I own them. They’re part of my story. I can’t change them so I choose not to think about “what could have been.” I wouldn’t redo a single moment.

Especially not on a day like today.

It’s Election Day in America. And it’s a big damn deal this time around. Sure, one could argue that every election is a big deal. But this feels bigger than normal. This is the fifth presidental election I’ve had the priviledge of voting in. Every time I’ve voted, I’ve done so thoughtfully and after careful consideration. I do the best I can to educate myself on all the candidates (which swiftly turns into *both* the candidates), as many of the issues as possible, and try to geniunely engage with people on the whole political spectrum.

This years is no different in that regard.

How it is different is that, for the first time in my life, I’m also considering two other people when I make my choice: my daughters, one who is two years ol and one who has a few months yet to cook. My choices now affect not only me, but them. And that’s a big deal.

So tonight, as I eat my pizza rolls and drink from my HRC crystal tumblers and don my Nasty Woman tank top, I’ll watch election coverage with my husband and one daughter. And long after she’s been put to bed, we’ll have an announcement of who our next President will be. I’ll stay awake as long as possible, fueled by carbs and ginger ale and hope.

At some point, I’ll cry. Happy tears, I’m hopeful. But I’ll cry.

nablopomo_badge_2016

One thought on “On reliving the past…

  1. Sorry the tears turned out to be sad ones. 😦 My nieces were on my mind, too, and the ceiling it would have broken for all women. I believed the reports she was several points ahead and thought the video tape and last debate had done enough to discredit him. Not the case, apparently. Such a huge divide. A sad and scary day for many.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s