So I use this website – http://www.blogher.com – to help me figure out what I should write about (when I actually get around to writing). This month, the theme is BALANCE. Oh, how timely the theme.

Balance is something I’ve almost always struggled with. Well, emotional/mental/spiritual balance that is. Physically, I’ve pretty much always been on my balance game. Anyway…that’s not the point.

I always seem to throw myself fully (or at least, mostly) in to one thing while foregoing all the other important pieces of my life. As an adult, that’s been a really hard habit to break. I tend to go all in and then wear myself out very quickly. I get exhausted of life easily which results in me just sitting and staring into whatever abyss I can find.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last year, it’s that I have to be incredibly intentional about devoting time to myriad activities: my daughter, my husband, myself, my friends, all at once, and all separately. What I’m learning is that it’s hard to be passionate about anything when I’m completely drained of everything. I have a deep and overwhelming desire to be passionate about something, but my body, heart, and spirit have been incredibly taxed.

And I think that’s due, in large part, to not taking the time to work on me. I’ve felt myself not just plateauing in the last couple years, but also backsliding. It’s the silly cross I bear, being that I have both an addictive and lazy personality.

So while I don’t really do the whole “New Year’s Resolutions” thing, I’m happy to go about it this year. It’s started well. I’m going back to the gym on the regular with a a girl friend. I’m writing and readying with more intention. I’m going to make a concerted effort to put away my devices while I’m with my family. I’ve even stopped buying “car candy” (which was maybe the hardest thing to do).

Basically, I need to start re-investing in all the facets of life that make me, me. Because empty cups tend to get dirty and boring and useless. A cup is there to be used, to drink from, and to refill. So I’m choosing to refill my cup this year.