On being beaten up….

Ever have those days when you feel like you’ve been hit by a MacTruck? I’m sure most of us can think of a day when we’d had too much to drink or stayed out too late the night before. Going to work and sitting behind a computer for 8+ hours seems like pure torture.

I went to an indoor trampoline center the other week for a friend’s birthday. I have an unconditional love of trampolines. I grew up with one (okay, my neighbor had one, but we were always over there jumping) and can’t wait to get one of my own in the backyard. But at 30 years old, I’m not sure my body was well-equipped to deal with the aftermath of two solid hours of jumping, flipping, and general madness. I felt like I’d had the crap beat out of me and I felt like that for nigh on a week. Will that stop me from trampolining again? Absolutely not.

But what about when you take an emotional or psychological beating?

Normally, when I feel like that physically, I just go to bed early, take some pain meds, and drink a couple glasses of wine. If I’m feeling especially crummy, I’ll throw in a salt bath for good measure.

Sadly, there are no salt baths for the emotional beatings, are there?

It’s frustrating to feel taken for granted or (probably worse) totally disregarded. The last several weeks have brought a number of those situations my way. School was strange, twice not having anyone in my peer review group choose my work to review. I mean, I’m nearly fundamentally opposed to peer review groups as it is because I’m totally unsure of their purpose, but since it’s an assigned task, I deal with it.

I’ve had my opinions, beliefs, politics, and reasons come under heavy fire this summer for reasons that I don’t understand. At one point, I really just threw my hands up and said, “I’m going to be a Communist for Halloween; they practically think I am anyway!” I had someone question why I keep fighting for the “same old thing.” Why do any of us fight for something we believe in? There are hills I’m willing to die on, and that particular topic happens to be one of them. But I won’t get into it right now.

Some really insulting statements have been hurled at me with no regard for how the hell it might sound, much less how it might hit me.

This isn’t a cry for sympathy. Not even in the slightest. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me.

It’s more about trying to find a way to be less affected by the stupid things people say and do.

There are times when I know know KNOW that what was said wasn’t intended to be hurtful; it just came out wrong or I was in a vulnerable place and I took it wrong. Lord knows, I’ve been on the giving end of those statements.

But other times, it’s painfully evident when a statement was made with intention. And those are the ones that I can’t wrap my head around. Those are the ones that I can’t seem to reconcile or “get over.”

So what does one do with THOSE MacTrucks? Certainly wine can help, but that wears off far sooner than the shock.

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One thought on “On being beaten up….

  1. Often I've found cruel comments to be a form of retaliation/ defense tactic for my shaking their own foundations somehow. Mature-minded folks who stand firm in their beliefs are more willing to allow you to express yourself & respect your opinion (even when they do not agree with you or like you as a person). Those are the people worth caring about. As T.I. so eloquently puts it in song “Nevermind what haters say, ignore 'em till they fade away”.

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