On giving away the ending….

I love surprises. I probably have an unhealthy obsession with them. I love being surprised, more than just about anything. I love not knowing what my husband might get me for any given gift-giving holiday. I get crazy when there are unannounced flowers delivered to my office. I even enjoy coming home to a deep-cleaned house that I didn’t ask to have done.

I’m probably the most naive person alive when it comes to surprises. Frankly, I should have seen my engagement coming, in just the way that it did. I should have expected that I’d get for Christmas what I did. But I love surprises enough to just be dumb about them and let them happen the way they’re supposed to.

You can’t really even ruin a movie for me. Tell me the end of The Sixth Sense and I’ll still freak out and cry. While I don’t care one iota about Avatar, you could tell me how that ends and I won’t care and won’t remember and will be surprised if and when I ever see it. I’ve seen A Christmas Carol about a hundred times and I still get weepy at the end. Ask anyone who has ever watched a movie with me and they’ll say the same thing. Hell, I don’t care if you tell me how LOST ends or that the “thing” was a polar bear or whatever. I simply do not care. Because by the time I get around to watching anything, I’ll have long since forgotten about what you told me. The ship sinks. Carrie gets married. The losers win. Blah blah blah.

A friend once told me the end of Psycho while I was watching it for the first time. He felt terrible when he found that out. But, not surprisingly (har har), the end still scared the crap out of me.

So with as much as I love being surprised, you’d think I could handle giving out surprises of my own.

I am terrible about surprises. I get so excited about them that I have to tell people about them right away. I’m like that awful SNL character that gets so worked up about surprises, she jumps out windows.

Case and point: I got my husband a new butane cigar lighter for Valentines Day after he conveniently lost his other one (for which I am more grateful than I could express). I was so excited that I’d found this particular lighter that I sent the purchase order to him via email that very same day. So now, I’m trying to figure out what else I can get him that WILL actually be a surprise.

So yeah, you can tell me the endings of every movie ever made and I’m not going to care. But do not, under any circumstance, ask me about a movie I’ve see that you have not.

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