I’ve spent a long time hustling—pouring my heart into birth work, chasing some dream of making it matter enough. Make enough. Mean enough. Be enough. But lately, I’m sitting with the truth that this version of it—this constant on-call, always-available, scraping-by energy—hasn’t been giving back to me. Not financially. Not emotionally. Not spiritually. I'm constantly frustrated with … Continue reading On knowing when to call it…
Author: micahdl
On what I thought it would be…
Daily writing promptIs your life today what you pictured a year ago?View all responses A year ago, there's no way I could have imagined life would be what it is right now. In some ways, that's good. In other ways, not so much. I never would have imagined, a year ago - just 4 months … Continue reading On what I thought it would be…
On feeling things…
I've been trying to process through a lot of feelings and emotions lately. I partly blame my youngest daughter. She's been having "big emotions" recently and is struggling to understand how to manage them, both in her head and in her body. It results in a lot of tears most of the time. And I … Continue reading On feeling things…
On being surprised…
I've been thinking a lot about surprises recently. It's a combination of teaching my kids the difference between a secret and a surprise and coming back to some kind of painful memories of surprises I've experienced in the past. First, to get it out of the way, our family doesn't do secrets. That's an "absolutely … Continue reading On being surprised…
On being okay with not being okay…
I think the question I hate right now more than anything is, "What do you love doing?" or it's variants, "What lights you up?" and "What sets your soul on fire?" When you're in the throes of depression (and this is absolutely the worst bout of if I've ever experienced), it's hard to think of … Continue reading On being okay with not being okay…
On wanting to know the future…
I wish someone could just tell me what the future is. There have been so many times in the past that I've actually read the last few pages of a book first, just so that I could know where I was heading. Even with TV shows, I'll often look up, "when do these two characters … Continue reading On wanting to know the future…
On wanting what I have. Again…
I wrote a blog with this exact same title a few years ago. And here we are again. My husband and I have been talking a lot recently about our move to Texas and everything that has happened to us since we left Washington state. It's a lot and if you know what happened, you … Continue reading On wanting what I have. Again…
On getting back to it…
It's been almost two years since I've written anything for this blog. Things got busy. And rough. And frankly, I just forgot. Which sucks. Things are finally starting to settle down for our family. But my personal self feels quite a bit out of sorts. Ever since we moved to Texas, I've felt an overwhelming … Continue reading On getting back to it…
On loving the things I hate…
A truly terrible view from the Bethel Ridge. There are very few things in life I actively loathe. Mushrooms. That's the biggest one. I have a visceral and physical reaction to those demonic "food" items. They are horrifying. I've met maybe four other people in my entire life that hate them as much as I … Continue reading On loving the things I hate…
On believing myself…
I'm a fraud. Or am I?
Use. The. Clutch. 