I’ve never actually had a career. I’ve done a lot of jobs, had a bunch of different titles, and gotten what feels like one trillion different certifications.

But I’ve never had a career. I wonder if that’s a millenial thing? Or is that a me thing? It’s probably a me thing. Most of my friends have had legitimate careers…doctors, military, clergy, government, teachers…so many interesting career paths in my friend group. I’m reasonably certain I have some of the smartest friends on the planet.

Then there’s me.

I’ve been an exectutive assistant multiple times. I’ve been in customer service – for aviation insurance, a cheese manufacturer, a wealth managment firm (what a shit show that was). I’ve worked in contracts for a tech company. I’m currently (?) a doula and yoga instructor. And I’ve recently taken up substitute teaching (and have found I really enjoy working with the SpEd students at the junior high…they’re just delightful!).

I often think about all the things I’ve wanted to do and be. Some of them are fairly realistic; some of them are absolutely comical.

I’ve wanted to be a features writer for Vanity Fair. I got a subscription for that magazine as a gift when I graduated from university in 2010 with a degree in writing and editing. It’s so well written and researched. I absolutely love it!

I’ve wanted to be on the speech writing staff at the White House (during the Obama administration and at no other time). Watching The West Wing gave me that itch. What a fascinating job, to craft the message the president delivers to citizens, like, all the time.

Today, I thought I should be brought on board the FIA as a Vibes and Aesthetics Engineer because OH MY GOD there is way too much black on the grid and in the drivers’ group photo. I have my thoughts on who should wear what colors and why. I am also personallly offended there isn’t any glitter in any of the paint on the cars.

I almost always think that, in a different life, with different support, I would have been a writer on a comedy show for the likes of Seth Meyers or John Oliver. I love their wit and cynicsm, but also how well researched and thoughtful their segments and interviews are. And goddammit, I am FUNNY. I probably talk about this being my alternate timeline job once a month.

I think it would be cool to be able to just sit in a bookstore and read and take questions and give recommendations to people who are interested. Not do sales. Not do inventory. Literally just be there to talk about books until I die.

Travel writing would be fun…how does someone get paid to travel and write about hotels, restaurants, and experiences? I dunno, but that would be awesome. Especially if I can take my family with me.

At present, it feels like I’m “in between things”…I have no idea what to do. Especially because I want to do all the things. If only there was a way to combine reading, teaching, vibes, and travel…