I think one of the only awesome features of being an adult is getting to do whatever the hell I want to.

We have a family code that says “As long as you’re not hurting yourself or someone else, you do you.” Basicallly, have fun and don’t be a jerk. And once I got out of my incredibly destructive 20s, I really started leaning into that.

I started wearing whatever I wanted (the school I went to K-12 had a very strict dresscode, much of which targeted girls, because of course it did)…there was the season I wore nothing but cheap corsets from Charlotte Russe. Then I wore pantsuits pretty regularly (I had one that had a super long jacket and it was seeeeeexy). I had a phase where I wore crazy tights and heels almost daily. Now, if I’m not in sweats or “day jammies”, I’m probably wearing sequins and glitter.

Then I discovered that I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Did you know you can just…buy a birthday cake? It doesn’t have to be your birthday. They don’t check. You can just…have it! And when I realized that I could eat pie for breakfast, my whole world broke wide open! Cold pumpkin pie for breakfast the day after thanksgiving hits so hard. And there’s no one in the house that can tell me I can’t do it!

But maybe one of the most healing things I’ve done is attend concerts that I wouldn’t have been allowed to see as a kid. And I take my own kids with me. Is it expensive? Sometimes, yeah. Will I regret it? Not a bit. I hope they remember how happy I was to see shows with them and see some of my favorite bands and artists live. I hope I get to see some of their favorites with them at some point.

I think part of this whole unlearning thing is restructuring how I view myself and the world and how I move through it. I’m allowed to take up space, no matter what size I am, no matter what I’m wearing. I’m allowed to enjoy the food I like without feeling guilty or gross. I’m allowed to listen to the music that makes me happy and speaks to my soul.

Once I realized that there are no guilty pleasures, my life really changed.