On seeing the bottom….



I hate the ocean. I’m terrified of it. That’ll happen when the ocean tries to kidnap you when you’re 15 years old. The beach at Charleston, SC had a rip current and none of us there knew about it and I got pulled into it. Obviously, I survived, but ever since then, getting in the ocean has been a struggle. Which sucks, because I really like snorkeling. I’m actually giving myself the chills thinking about the ocean right now. I hate the idea that the ocean is so deep, we can’t really get to the bottom of it. I see inforgraphics about how deep the ocean is and it scares the hell out of me.

The sailor told me that the first time he ever got in the ocean was when he was 22 years old. He jumped off an aircraft carrier into the Indian Ocean. It was a forty foot drop from the elevator to the ocean. He was told that as soon as he hit the water, he needed to start swimming toward the surface at a rather furious pace because he’d keep falling for a while. The weirdo opened his eyes underwater and saw the carrier’s propellors. And that’s where I have to stop listening to the story.

It’s the unknown that freaks me out. I’ve never liked not knowing what’s coming next or what I should expect. I like surprises, but in the form of parties or presents. I don’t like when life surprises me. It’s not that I need to know the future. It’s that I need the future to go the way I expect it to. 

I’m a born planner. I used to live my life basically in fifteen-minute increments. I could tell you exactly how my day was going to go pretty much any day of the week. Things would come up, but I could always fit them into the existing plan.

I’m also a person that tends to “hope for the best, but plan for the worst.” I always know how much money is in all the bank accounts and have a budget worked out for a minimum of five years at a time. I can know, within about $100, what our finances will look like at any given moment because I plan for things like vacations and cars breaking down and holidays and birthdays.

So imagine my horror when something I absolutely cannot comprehend comes my way. It really throws me for a loop. I’ve been thrown for a few loops in my day and I’m never prepared for it. I don’t think I should have to be. Not those loops. I don’t expect or even want things to go perfectly. I just want them to be normal. I don’t like walking into situations and being completely blindsided. No one does.

I don’t like it when I can’t see the bottom.


On the real me….


Toddlerhood and family visitors took a toll on my committment to writing daily. So I’m going to give it another go this week. I’m still following Real Girl Rant‘s 30 day challenge because I love her prompts. Today we have…

20 Facts About Me!

  1. My husband and I met when we were 17, but didn’t get married until we were 33. It was a long, hard road to get here, but we got here and while life isn’t always perfection, it’s perfect for us.
  2. I am an uncloseted Britney Spears fan. I love her. Not quite as much as the “Leave Britney alone!” guy, but enough to travel a great distance to see a show.
  3. I like to make celebrations out of anything. There’s very little in life that isn’t a good reason to drink champagne. I love throwing theme parties and hosting people in my home. That said…
  4. I definitely need significant down time after I’ve hosted an event. I’m an extroverted introvert, so my alone time is cruicial and I am very stingy with it.
  5. I have extreme wanderlust, but
  6. I hate being in the car for longer than 45 minutes and flying terrifies me. I’m a functional alcoholic when I’m on a plane.
  7. I want to learn all the languagues.
  8. But if I could actually learn everything about one single subject, it would be dance. And I want to learn all the things from Derek Hough and Peeta Murgatroyd.
  9. Every day is a constant struggle between wishing my kid would go to sleep and leave me along and wishing she’d hurry up and wake up because I miss her.
  10. A few times a week, I turn into the anti-hoarder and I want to get rid of everything in my house save a few pieces of necessary furniture and the photos.
  11. Clutter stresses me out in ways I can’t explain. So having a toddler is a real treat.
  12. I recently started learning how to use my big, fancy camera and now kind of love love love to take photos for and of people.
  13. Patio dining in the summer is basically what I spend all year waiting for. That, and Christmas.
  14. I went to five colleges/universites in two countries and two states and switched majors five times before finally settling on the degree I have (English writing and editing) which I should have just started with because I will never not love the English language. Always have; always will.
  15. Finding twenty (even remotely interesting) facts about myself is really hard.
  16. In grade 3, my teacher (who remains, to this day, the most evil teacher I ever had) sent me to the special ed teacher because I was quite terrible at math. Turns out, I sucked at math because I couldn’t see the stupid chalkboard. I’m still pretty terrible at math, but not because I can’t see. Just because it’s challenging.
  17. The SpEd teacher (Mrs. Pritchett) continued to work with me (and I loved her) and also got me into piano lessons. I took piano lessons every week from grade 3 until grade 12 with the same teacher (Mrs. Moore).
  18. Despite sucking at math, I love fiddling with our family budget. I have it worked out through 2022. It’s ridiculous. But makes me very happy.
  19. I crave playing the piano pretty much every day. We own two electric pianos and haven’t set either of them up. Lame.
  20. My favorite food of all time is pizza. OMG I love pizza!